So many things affect your perception of value and it’s a great idea to look at and challenge them all. I’ll start with how you value yourself. There is a comfort zone within you that governs or almost locks down your place among your peers, co-workers, clients and bosses. The question is…is your comfort zone a true measure of your worth, and is it based on your skills and education—or is it based on your self-esteem? If you have mad skills and low self-esteem, you could be settling for less than you deserve.

Things you can do to accurately measure your worth:

1. Make a list of your professional qualifications
2. Write an autobiography about your experiences both professional and personal that enhance your education. Be very positive. If you have to, pretend you are writing about someone you greatly admire.
3. Pay attention to your emotional response when you compare yourself to someone with similar skills and experience. Do you always give yourself the short end of the stick? Can you take a compliment, referral, tip or raise with grace?
4. Kick all of your parents, siblings, extended family’s harsh criticism and Debbie-Downer statements about you to the curb. Don’t believe it; don’t wear it. What they think of you and your dreams is their problem. If this is really hard for you, seek out help from a psychologist, spiritual counselor or life coach.

How Coventry candles can open the path for you:

1. If you need help raising your self-esteem, work with Coventry Creations’ Stability and Raising Self-Esteem candle. This is the perfect candle to burn while you build your confidence and repair your self-worth.
2. If your self-worth is in good shape but you are having trouble getting noticed, burn a Motor City Hoo Doo Crown of Glory candle. No one can ignore the crown. Wear it with humility and just a bit of prowess.

Now let’s look at how the world at large projects a value onto you. Judgments run rampant in our society, and each judgment attaches a price tag or value of your worth as a money-maker and citizen. We all have to be very careful not to accept those judgments too quickly. Take your time and determine your own worth. Doing this can feel like you’re going against the grain; it can trigger lots of fear around being accepted and potentially losing all you’ve worked for. It’s tempting to make major compromises on who you are and what you have to offer by accepting other people’s opinions of you just to keep the peace or hang onto the job, salary and sales you already have. “Don’t rock the boat and this is better than nothing; I know I can count on this” is the shadow side of accepting society’s definition of your worth. Fall for that trap and you’ll stop taking appropriate risks.

Things you can do to measure your worth in society accurately:

1. Research people in your field. List the ways you are similar and the ways you are different. Were you inspired to make some changes to your skill set or the way you present yourself?
2. Determine who is your ideal customer or what is your ideal job. Once you define that, learn how to talk to them and focus your message to meeting their needs, or helping them solve their problems.
3. Let go of all the others. Stop selling to those who don’t want to pay you what you are worth or don’t have enough self-worth themselves to be able to honor you monetarily or emotionally.
4. Ask yourself how important is it to you to be a unique individual. Honor your style and be authentic in word, thought and deed.

How Coventry can help you overcome societal conformity:

1. If your challenge is an internal one (i.e., doubting your ability to overcome the pressures society puts you to conform), you need a Greenman or Hekate World candle. Either one will spark the strength and confidence required for you to stand up for yourself.
2. If you know you are a light in the world and society is too narrow-minded to acknowledge it, put a Motor City Hoo Doo High John or Cleo Mae candle to work for you. These candles help you get noticed and respected.

Patty Shaw

Co-owner of Coventry Creations

Author, Healer’s Almanac

Spiritual Counselor and energy therapist

www.HealingwithPattyShaw.com

www.facebook.com/pattyshaw

Fan page, Healer’s Almanac