“We make our own happiness.”
“Happiness is created, not found.”
“Happiness comes from what we do.”
“Happiness is about enjoying the moment.”
I have shared all these meme’s on my social media. I have these posters in my office. I write these quotes in my journal and sometimes they don’t help because I have run out of happiness. It happens, your reserves are so empty that you just can’t muster another mildly pleasant moment. Your joy cupboards are bare and all you are left with is an empty void of feelings.
We have all been at a place where there is nothing left to give, and this is a powerfully healing moment.
What do you do when you are empty of happiness? How do you find your way back to a place of contentment and joy? Maybe you don’t need to get happy again right away, maybe you need to feel the darkness that you are in and learn from it. If you deny the dark side of your emotions, force lightness and joy when you don’t feel it, the darkness can push back by sucking you in at the worst time and without you knowing the way out. If you embrace that darkness and travel through it with purpose and intent, you can easily find your way out again.
The answer to “What do you do when you are all out of happiness?” is to feel sad with a purpose. Go down to the bottom of the well of emotions and you will find a gem there. There is always a gift in pain if you look for it. There is always a blessing within the curse, but you have to travel into the center of hell to find it. What do they say when you are walking thru hell? Don’t stop. Don’t turn back, just keep moving forward to the other side. There is always the other side.
I am going to give you some tools for the next time you find you are all out of happiness. These tools will help you navigate the dark night of the soul and get to a place of balance and comfort. When you are walking this difficult path, you need to clear out the old lies, fears and beliefs that tell you to give up. There is no defeat in traveling this path, there is only defeat in stopping and wallowing along the way.
1 – Don’t go alone. Get a Guardian Protector Affirmation candle, light it and start talking to your guides. Even if you can’t hear them, they can hear you and they won’t let you fall. The Guardian Protector Affirmation candle will help you feel and experience the guides around you, especially when you are so emotionally low you are blocking the divine from your energy.
2 – Shed the negativity along the way. Use the Spiritual Cleansing Blessed Herbal Oil to anoint your hands, heart and crown. Then, get out your journal, scrap paper or anything that you can write on and draw out all the deep and dark emotions you are feeling. Do this for as long as or as often as you need to. One 30 minute session is not the cure, it is the beginning of the process. Your dark side will tell you that is enough, but it is tricking you in a way that allows this sadness and these fears to stay intact and in charge. It’s like eating right; one salad does not cure heart disease, and one journaling session does not get all the angst out.
3 – Cry, shout, and feel the anger. Light the Fiery Wall of Protection candle to contain and burn up the emotions you are about to express and then express them. Shout it out, cry, bitch, and moan, whatever it takes. If you need someone to express it to, put them on the other side of the candle so you don’t pass the pain, you just dump it and let it burn away.
4 – Count your blessings. Light the Truth & Justice Blessed Herbal Candle. List out verbally and on paper what you are grateful for. It’s ok if you have to start with things like, “Gravity, so I don’t float out into space”, or “Oxygen, so I can breathe”. Start basic, do what you can and return to it later in the day, tomorrow or even next week.
5 – Let others be happy. The Grief Affirmation candle helps you shed and release the deep emotions you are experiencing without them polluting your entire world. Not everyone is feeling what you are and to bring them wholly into your pain stops you from fully processing it and moving through it to the end.
6 – Let the divine creep in. The Inner Balance Blessed Herbal candle will hold the space for you during this process and make room for divine energy. Next thing you know, you feel a bit better and then that leads to more and more happiness creeping in.
This is not a day trip into your dark side. This is a longer, slower journey that needs to process through your entire being. Use any system to help your through this; chakras, Kabbalah, 7 Steps to core change from my book Coventry Magic. Any system has value that you can lean on when the road gets rough, you just have to make the journey to the other side.