I was really offended by that phrase when I first heard it. I care, I care about a lot of people, things, and outcomes. Actually, I care too much... until I found the freedom in not caring. There is a point when you have to throw your hands in the air and not give a rat’s ass as to the outcome, the needs or the damn political climate to gain a bit of sanity. There is a moment where you have to get greedy with your feelings – put on the preverbal oxygen mask and breathe air that is not tainted with the funk of another human being. There has to come a moment where you hold all of your f#@%s to yourself and no longer give them away.
When you give to yourself first, you have the energy to give to others later
I remember when I finally understood that I need to own all of my energy for a while and stop giving it away. You see, that is the f#@% that was given, your energy. I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a boss and a business owner; that is a lot of energy that is sacrificed on the altar of responsibility. I am caring about everything from wholesome groceries in the house to sales goals to employee retention to husband retention to the holidays and on and on and on. Every time I took time for myself, one of the plates crashed and I punished myself for that failing.
Then one day I woke up, having only hit 50% of my sales goal, my daughter mad at me, 2 employees shy of a team and the holidays approaching and I thought…. What would happen if I let all the plates crash, if I stopped giving all of my energy if the form of F#@%s? I was exhausted, crabby and meditation was my enemy. I let it all crash and kept my energy to myself.
The plates that I was spinning crashed and I was OK. I was better than OK, because others became accountable for their own plates – or – I never needed those plates in the first place.
I realized that it was time to reinvent myself without a crop of F#@%s to tend.
I did it and my life is clearer, happier and less stressful. It’s not perfect, but perfect is boring and I don’t give a f#@% about perfect. Coventry has everything you need to reinvent your life and a simple way to start the process.