Before you start looking for who has taken a bite out of your empowerment, or who you may have given away your power to, you may want to make sure you are not the source of your own power drain.  Have you become part of the culture of negativity?  It’s a sneaky one and it can take hold without you even realizing.  

Your own power drain starts within you.  If you find yourself in the center of stress, unrest, sabotage and general negative beings look within to see how you got there.  This personal sabotage starts with negative self-talk, manifests into self-sabotaging actions and ends up with you identifying and surrounding yourself with others like you.  

We all seek out those who will validate our current state of energy, even if we bring others down to our state of crabbiness.

Every human being has to deal with negativity in one way or another and it’s no good to stick your head in the sand and to ignore it.  The best bet is to face it head on and understand what your contribution is to it.  If you are reading this and think about whom in your life needs to understand what their contribution to the toxicity in your life, you need to stop looking around you and start looking in the mirror.  Negativity is not about others, it’s about US.  It’s about the person looking back in the mirror to you and your part in the play.  

Negative self-talk is a reflection of inner defeat

When we let those toxic self-thoughts take a front seat in our brains, we cut ourselves off of life and living because we are always looking for ways to prove our thoughts.   Remember, our subconscious will always look for ways to prove and manifest our beliefs even if it is to your demise.  Your beliefs will always replay in your thoughts creating a vicious circle of negativity.   In other words, what goes on inside of our heads becomes our lives and reality.

Negativity will always justify itself

We are all experts with our own motivations that allow our negative thoughts to cut us off from life.  This facilitates justifying our actions as a response to the things that happen to us, making nothing our fault.  If everything is the fault of another, no responsibly can be taken for our own actions; we will perpetually be the victim in every scenario.  When you are always the victim, you can never empower yourself to make a different decision or take a new action.  From this place, all blame is projected onto another and all power is given to that other person to make or break our well being.  If the antagonist in your life is horrible enough, it also justifies your negative behavior to them – of course as a response to what they are doing to you!

Negativity chooses your friends for you.

Misery loves company and we will always look for partners, advocates and companions to validate our experiences.   When you are in a place of negativity, you will surround yourself with people who think the same way – you will always find someone to commiserate with you, then you both hold on for dear life!

Your friends are your mentors, their actions validate and inspire your actions; even shaping the way you think.  One thought process feeds the other and a group of negative people send each other into a spiral right down into chaos and pain.   Remember, you become your environment so choose wisely.  When choosing your friends you need to choose them based on their spirits (a fancy spiritual word for motivation)

By the way, have you ever noticed that innately negative people tend to really be irritated by positive people?  

We currently live in a generation that caters to negativity.  Social networking, for one, has welcomed a world of spewing negativity and not taking responsibility for what we do or say.  There is an acceptance of being keyboard warriors that spout out hurtful and negative thought then wrap it up in lovely little "pseudo spiritual terms" like "speaking my truth" or “That’s what Spirit is telling me”. When your language goes out of its way to hurt another human being it’s no longer spiritual no matter what wrapping paper you use to wrap it up.

Of course, I have some remedies for that negative talk. When you take an active part in your transformation from that negative spiral into an empowered way of reacting the effect is profound and life changing.

Power of thought and inner dialog – transforming the negative into positive

You are the meanest person you know… at least to yourself.  If you can’t be supportive to yourself, how can others?  Even if they are nice, you won’t believe them.  

Step 1 - Clear the negativity

Reversing Motor City Hoo Doo candle

Uncrossing Motor City Hoo Doo oil

Van Van Motor City Hoo Doo candle

Changing your self-dialogue is a big process, you are breaking a habit that is decades old.

Start by listing all of your negative self-talk for a week.  Keep a little paper journal and write in it every time you put yourself down or chastise yourself.  After that week, pull out the Reversing candle place it in a candle holder and read aloud to it all of the negative things you say about yourself.  Place the little journal under the candle holder.  Light the candle every day until the black has been consumed.

Once black wax has burnt away, pull out the little journal, anoint it with Uncrossing oils and burn it (carefully).  You are transforming your negativity into positive self-views.  Light the Van Van candle with the remaining Reversing candle to let go of this part of yourself and your behavior.  Light these candles every day when you are home (put them out when you leave) Let them burn until they are done.

Step 2 - Bring in the positive

Tranquil Home Motor City Hoo Doo candle

Lucky 7 Motor City Hoo Doo candle

Crown of Glory Motor City Hoo Doo oil

Set this second part of your spell in a different room, or a different part of the room.  Anoint the Tranquil Home and the Lucky 7 candles with the Crown of Glory oil.  Anoint the bottom of your feet with the Crown of Glory oil.  These two candles are to bring in a new behavior of celebrating, forgiving and believing in yourself.  This takes a lot of work - Every day when you light these candles and anoint your feet, state aloud the good and wonderful things that you experience every day.  Take time, daily, to find something about yourself that you value and express that gratitude.  Take a quiet moment to find that inner peace that brings an understanding of your place in the universe.     

Keep this up every day until the candles are gone and you will find yourself in a new mind set.

For extra credit, find something nice to say or do for the random people that cross your path.